A Silent Career Killer

Early one morning I sat at my desk reading and re-reading an email from an employee. I could feel the frustration and I hadn’t even had my first shot of espresso yet, and it took every ounce of control not to walk over to the wall and bang my head against it.

What was it that caused me to get a headache early in the morning? Why was my high performer suddenly turning in half-finished work product?

Was there some viral slacking bug infecting my team? No, unfortunately it was nothing that simple.

Instead, it is something that is the bane of every progressive, fast-moving, innovative leader.

It’s something that keeps me up at night. It’s something that is so irritating, aggravating, annoying and causes me to grind my teeth in an effort to keep my patience under control.

What, is it you ask? What could possible cause so much harm?

It is a silent career killer, an attitude that many employees unconsciously adopt.

A lack of curiosity.

There. I said it.

It pains me even to write it.

My keyboard might even explode as a result of typing it.

Now, some of you might be thinking, “What is the big deal? That was a big build up for a whole lot of nothing.”

Let me tell you, few things are more dangerous to a department – and a company – then an employee’s lack of curiosity.

It is especially dangerous in a marketing department, where we depend on our team members’ curiosity in order to explore and keep up with evolving technologies.

What exactly do I mean by “curiosity”?

The dictionary states it is “the desire to know something: eagerness to know about something or to get information.”

In the workplace, curiosity is the lifeblood that flows in the veins of an organization, bringing ideas and innovation.

For employees:

- Curiosity in an employee is stopping and thinking about the task they are doing instead of robotically doing it.
- Curiosity means thinking about what the next step might be and how the task they are working fits into it.
- Curiosity means asking “is there a better/faster/more efficient way to do this task?
- Curiosity means keeping up on new technology and playing around with it in your free time or asking your manager if you can try the task out in parallel in the new technology to see if it is more efficient.
- Curiosity means knowing what is going on in the world around you, outside your regular sphere of influence. You never know where you next great idea will come from.
- Curiosity means reading at least one “real” news publication a day to know what is going on in the world and being able to talk intelligently about world events, not just about reality TV.
- Curiosity means identifying a challenge and instead of dumping it on your managers desk, researching solutions, outlining a proposed solution and giving that to your manager with the backup research so they can just make modifications.

Get the point?

Curiosity is necessary to move ahead in a career.

It is the “what if I” and “how can I” and “where can I” of the job.

It is exciting. It is how we learn and grow.

It is how we challenge ourselves to stay interested in what we are doing.

The moment I have an employee bringing me something half-done, or telling me they don’t know what to do next when all they need to do was ask the person next to them, or pick up the phone to figure it out – I know the individual has lost their curiosity.

This is a sign that they are disengaged from their job and I’ve found that there are usually three causes:

They hate their job (Some would argue that they are satisfied with things the way they are and don’t need to be curious. That’s an excuse. You hate your job.)
They have something personal going on in their life that is affecting their work
They are looking for a new job

So as leaders and managers, what can we do?

Well, that’s a HUGE discussion, one that could take months and pages to discuss.

Instead, I will share my top three suggestions for encouraging curiosity:

Interests: Find out what interests your employee and encourage them. It could be learning a new skill or taking a new class. It could be as simple as leaving on time to coach their kids’ games. Discover their interests and encourage them to pursue them. Ideas come from all areas of life and when your brain is rested or doing different activities. So encourage what interests them. It helps the ideas flow.
Variety: While some individuals are hired to do a particular task, offer them the chance to work on different projects or help another colleague. Encourage cross-training. It can lead to them developing new interests and ideas within the company and that can lead to better ways of doing things as well. You never know.
Growth: Give your employees a “growth” project that will benefit them and their career. Show them how it will build their skills and position them for growth. It will do wonders once they take ownership of their own career and see you taking an investment in them.

So what did I end up doing with that particular employee? I quickly found out that their apathy was due to their upcoming out-of-state move. Still, it was frustrating and stressful for the rest of the team to work with an indifferent teammate.

Cultivate curiosity in your team.

It will drive your best performers to achieve beyond your expectations and launch them from their current roles into their future careers.

Little Sisters and Turtle Shells Taught Me How to Deal With Aggravation at Work

Growing up the oldest of four kids in the 70s and 80s, three years separated me from my next younger sister. She always seemed to be hanging around, spilling my secrets and generally doing all the annoying things younger sisters do.

And we fought – did we ever – over anything and everything. She knew what to say, and more importantly, when to say it for maximum impact to play to an audience.

When we were in grade school, we would end up rolling around on the ground – pulling hair, scratching, the works – until a parent would break it up, and I’d always receive the worse punishment, for being the oldest I should have “known better” and “set a good example” for her on how to behave.

I swear she always started it.

After each fight, my dad would sit me down and talk to me about letting the anger go and not letting her get me riled up.

“Nothing is that big of a deal to let yourself get that angry. It’s not that important. Let the words roll off your back,” he’d tell me.

While at the time his advice didn’t always get put into regular practice, (sisters, ahem) I eventually found it to be quite useful; I would visualize a turtle shell around me and her words sliding off my shell.

After I started working, I discovered just how handy the turtle shell is when dealing with heated situations to keep calm and focused.

It is very easy to get caught up in the moment at work. The day-to-day activities, deadlines, requests and “emergencies” can at times be overwhelming.

All too soon, you lose focus and become consumed in a situation where you have angry customers, employees and managers twisted and yelling at you. Essentially, you get on the ground and roll around with them the same way my sister would needle me until I would engage her in a fight.

Instead of participating, that is the perfect moment to stop, take a breath, pull out the turtle shell and refocus the conversation.

Advice on Handling Aggravation at Work*

- When confronted by someone who is upset, listen to what they are saying. There could be a kernel of truth and fact in their anger, so strip away the emotion and listen. Is the problem a missed deadline? A personality conflict? Use your shell to let the emotion roll off so you can focus on the particulars of the issue and deal with the facts, not the emotions.
- Recognize that sometimes people do stupid things to rile others up to get attention, even at work. It happens. Don’t react, that is what they want. Just move on.
- Wait 24 hours to reply if you are upset. Full stop. If you are emotional, don’t respond to an email or phone call. Go home. Go for a walk around the block. Talk to your family, your friends, your pets, your plants or therapist, just don’t engage when you are in the midst of feeling upset if at all possible. Notice I didn’t say your co-workers – they usually are not an optimal choice since they are also in the same environment as you and can be biased in their advice.
- Focus on the solution and the quickest, most effective and ethical route to get there. When it is time to confront the individual, do your best to set aside your anger. Keep the conversation centered on the solution and your commitment to making it happen. Bring it back around to it as many times as it takes until the other person runs out of steam or is satisfied. Remember, you have your turtle shell to deal with the stingers and zingers they throw your way. You can ignore them and stay focused on the solution.
- When receiving criticism, especially “helpful” criticism, try not to let your blood pressure rise or immediately jump to defend yourself. Imagine: if you were giving this advice to someone else, would the advice be valid? If it holds true, or even partially true, slip on your turtle shell, strip the emotion from what the individual is throwing at you, thank the person and see how you can use the information you received to improve. Don’t drag out and continue the conversation – find a graceful way to exit and ponder what you’ve learned for another day.
- Lastly, follow the golden etiquette rule: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

It would be easy to let the comments, emails and gossip eat away at and bother you. Remind yourself – it’s not that important. If you aren’t going to remember it in 10 years from now, it shouldn’t really matter to you today. Use your turtle shell! Pull it on and let it the comments and emotions roll off your back. You will be more productive, happier and less bothered by the “little stuff.”

It amuses my sister to no end to remind me of how she would get under my skin and drive me crazy when we were younger. I point out to her that her children are taking after her as little instigators and causing mischief.

I’m laughing – oh yes – I’m laughing. I may have to teach her the turtle shell trick after all.

Me and my little sister in 1982.

* This article does not pertain or provide advice on situations where there is harassment or verbal abuse in the workplace. You should immediately communicate those situations to your manager, human resources, legal department and anyone else at your organization that should be involved. This article relates to the typical office-life frustrations in the daily life of a professional.

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